Do you ever get caught in the trap of taking life too seriously? After I had a life changing moment at just 22 years old, from ignoring what my heart truly wanted, I swore to throw away my five year plans and stop taking life so damn seriously. To be more carefree, and joyful and trusting – like my furry gurus taught me.
But last week I found myself in a familiar but dreaded hole. I had somehow got sucked back into Serious City and it was not a pleasant trip.
This past weekend was the UK’s first and only spiritual unconference Higher Selfie. For those of you wondering what the heck an un-conference is – the idea is that the attendees get to choose what talks they hear, voting for topics that can be submitted by anyone who feels called to do so. Whatever messages are resonating to the tribe on that day are shared on stage, regardless of the speakers social media following or experience. It’s a wonderful exploration of levelling the playing field, creating a supportive atmosphere and lifting speakers (and attendees!) up. Thanks to Lucy Sheridan from Proof Coaching, Jo Westwood The Spirit DJ and lululemon UK for creating this amazing event.
As soon as I heard about Higher Selfie I was excited about putting my name forth to give a talk. It was an amazing opportunity for me to share animal wisdom with some new faces. But then the fear kicked in. My ego took over. I had never given a talk before on this topic, or to this many people and was afraid of screwing up. So my Type A overachiever side stepped up and I started brainstorming ideas and watching a ton of TED talks to learn from the pros.
It was when I was looking at public speaking books on Amazon, calculating what shipping option would give me enough time to read the whole book before Higher Selfie, that I realised I had fallen into the serious trap. I was frantically trying to cram years of top level public speaking knowledge into my brain for a 20 minute talk that I may not even be giving!! I took a step back (literally – I was that horrified) and asked myself ‘why am I taking this so seriously?’
Heres the thing. Seriousness, serious-ism, is a result of scarcity thinking. When we are taking something really seriously, it is because we have placed high importance on the opportunity or outcome – be that a job interview, an exam, or submitting a proposal (like I was). We take a little future trip and plan out how this opportunity will lead to this thing, and then that thing, to lead us to whatever our ultimate goal is (perfect job, dream house, financial abundance etc). So then it becomes vital that we don’t miss this opportunity – else we are ruining our chances of our ultimate happiness (no pressure , right). Scarcity thinking sees this one opportunity as the ONLY opportunity. Once it is gone, it’s gone. Screw up, game’s over. But we don’t have to be this way.
So how do we get out of scarcity thinking?
1- Gratitude: Firstly, be grateful for everything amazing that you already have/experienced/do in your life. This energy sends out a signal of abundance rather thank lack to the universe. You’re saying ” yes please – more of this!”
2- Raise your vibration: Start practising meditation daily to lift your vibration, and open yourself up to co-creating to the universe.
3 – Ask for what you want: Ask for a feeling, not a thing. If you’ve done Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map work, what you want is to feel your core desired feelings. If you haven’t done this work, ‘happiness’ or ‘love’ are pretty good ones.
4- Trust: Trust that when you and the universe are co-creating that you will be given exactly what you need. And know that sometimes the universe has a better plan for you. So if one opportunity falls through, know that an even better one is coming.
5 – Laugh: Silliness, play and laughter is the perfect antidote to serious thinking. So go jump in a puddle, play with a furry guru or have a dance party in your living room and let it go.
When we get out of scarcity thinking, co-create with the universe and trust that we shall receive this or something greater – then there is no reason to be serious anymore. And we can start to switch of focus to fun!
So I took a deep breath. I stopped putting pressure on myself, to get this one opportunity. I trusted that if it was meant to happen, it would, and it would go exactly as it was meant to. I cleared my Amazon cart of public speaking books, surrendered my talk to the universe (via the Higher Selfie submission inbox) and then went to the park to hang out with Guru Dog Neve. And when my name was called out as one of the speakers for Higher Selfie, I was able to get my butt on stage without freaking out about giving the perfect talk – which allowed my message to flow beautifully and clearly from my heart to the audience.
Image via Beth Crockatt Photography
What areas of your life are you taking so seriously? What one thing can you stop taking seriously right now, and start having more fun instead?
P.S I am so grateful to have a chance to share my message of animal wisdom on stage (thank you to everyone who voted), and contribute to the vibe of the day. I met so many lovely souls afterwards who shared their own personal furry guru stories with me, which touched my heart. The fact that I was able to give people permission to show this part of their soul which is so often hidden or disregarded by others was incredibly humbling and amazing.
P.P.S If you think Higher Selfie sounds amaze (which it totally is) and want to get in on this love fest with incredible like minded people – you can sign up to their mailing list to find out about future live and online events they are running.